i’m tired and hungry and my contacts suck.
today was a good day, but it was a day that i felt connected to me very loosely; as though if i didn’t put all my energy into not falling off, i would spiral down into nothingness.
what the nothingness is exactly is sort of troubling, but as you would guess, it’s mostly just that–nothing. no good, no bad. smooth, without a wrinkle of life.
in the end, though, i did hang on. a few times my link to reality fuzzed in and out, but i’m still here. i’m still here, waiting for something to happen. eating a pop-tart.
i taught a course on scanning and ocr software today to three middle-aged women. i also slept through one class and 40 minutes of another. i also wrote a song, tentatively entitled ‘grey’. after having writer’s block for so long, it was a clean breath of sea-salty air to be working on a song, not just imagining one. it’s almost done, and i hope to play it on saturday at the show. since i haven’t written much lately, i’ll go ahead and append the lyrics to this entry, as cheesy as that is. i figure as long as it’s mine it’s ok. feel free to comment.
also, if you care, you should vote on which cover i will do on saturday. the choices so far are:
“everything” | lifehouse
“true love waits” | radiohead
“don’t be there” | switchfoot (i don’t know this one yet)
“april 6, 2039” | pedro the lion
or if you have suggestions, feel free. now, the so-called lyrics to my new song:
_when i sing it feels better
_
_standing looking out the window
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_hand out to catch the rain
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drip down slow crystal moving
_the grey is more than monotone
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_now that I can pierce it through
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_i don’t have to see the blue behind it
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i know it’s there for me
_shadows fade and bleed,
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_please, deny that they are real
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_strange how they see me
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strange that they run
_taking words, stringing them together
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_i hope i’m making sense
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_clarity is the goal
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drip down the meaning shows
_shifting shades lose their opacity
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_the power to conceal is gone
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_what is beyond is so incredible
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it’s a shame i didn’t see it before
_turn on the light that’s in my mind to flood the world with colors
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_let your eyes see what’s really there stop looking at the canvas
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_put down your brush dumb ignorance for you don’t have the talent
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to represent the way things are with your soul-numbing grey
alpha through epsilon levels: check.
theta through omega levels: clear.
virtual disc on spin: mezzamorphis | delirious?