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the last thing i want to do right now is study greek. but i do like this one sentence i just read: “epibouleuomen toi basilei”–“we are plotting against the king”. if there was a king around i think i’d plot against him, just for kicks. talked to emily for a while today. things are getting better, i think. i just wish my feelings would get themselves in order–it’s not like them to be opposed to me as they have been recently. feelings don’t control the mind right? the mind controls the feelings. or so it’s always been. so with this conflict i don’t know how much weight i should lend feelings, when they have no basis in anything but themselves. and yet they are what you most closely and immediately perceive, because you are FEELING them. but unless they validate themselves sometime soon i sure as heck am not going to listen to them when they say absurd things. ...

almost there* atleast in my dreams when i’m sleeping it seems that the needle is full endlessly but you keep on waking me i’m almost there it’s on the tip of my tongue and it never goes away it never comes to stay the chances are slight that i won’t shoot up tonight but the sensation that’s waiting beneath is a kick in the teeth –david bazan