Losing Love

I have been looking for love (and lamenting my lack of it, in terms of the females) so intensely recently, that in a superbly dismaying irony, I have actually been un loving those around me [yes, that was a transitive verb]. I have been withdrawn, aloof, sarcastic, ungentle, and careless in my interactions with my community, and I was so wrapped up in myself, so enjoying my melancholy depression, that I didn’t even notice until someone called me out on it last night.

It doesn’t feel good to realize that you have been treating people with less than the fullest of respect; and it feels even worse to not know how to go about changing, or whether you even want to. Christ help me.

Peter Marshall September 18, 2005

At least someone called you out on it.

Pavi Thomas September 18, 2005

You know what, I do just that from time to time. And sometimes even toward my children. Christ help me, indeed.

Jonathan Lipps September 18, 2005

It seems like such a simple, basic mistake to make, though, that I always feel so very foolish in making it. I suppose I just need to come to grips with the fact that even I am foolish! I don’t know in how many other states Christ would be able to help me as I’ve asked, anyway.

Dave Williams September 18, 2005

I get that way sometimes when I’m overly concerned about the thoughts and feelings of this machine that I’m typing upon and leave human beings a little lower on the priority list. As much time as I spend computing, I’m sure you’re there more. Have you considered a weekend or more in a technofast? Maybe this is already a part of your routine.