I have been looking for love (and lamenting my lack of it, in terms of the females) so intensely recently, that in a superbly dismaying irony, I have actually been unloving those around me [yes, that was a transitive verb]. I have been withdrawn, aloof, sarcastic, ungentle, and careless in my interactions with my community, and I was so wrapped up in myself, so enjoying my melancholy depression, that I didn’t even notice until someone called me out on it last night.
It doesn’t feel good to realize that you have been treating people with less than the fullest of respect; and it feels even worse to not know how to go about changing, or whether you even want to. Christ help me.
4 replies on “Losing Love”
At least someone called you out on it.
You know what, I do just that from time to time. And sometimes even toward my children. Christ help me, indeed.
It seems like such a simple, basic mistake to make, though, that I always feel so very foolish in making it. I suppose I just need to come to grips with the fact that even I am foolish! I don’t know in how many other states Christ would be able to help me as I’ve asked, anyway.
I get that way sometimes when I’m overly concerned about the thoughts and feelings of this machine that I’m typing upon and leave human beings a little lower on the priority list. As much time as I spend computing, I’m sure you’re there more. Have you considered a weekend or more in a technofast? Maybe this is already a part of your routine.