Losing Love

I have been looking for love (and lamenting my lack of it, in terms of the females) so intensely recently, that in a superbly dismaying irony, I have actually been unloving those around me [yes, that was a transitive verb]. I have been withdrawn, aloof, sarcastic, ungentle, and careless in my interactions with my community, and I was so wrapped up in myself, so enjoying my melancholy depression, that I didn’t even notice until someone called me out on it last night.

It doesn’t feel good to realize that you have been treating people with less than the fullest of respect; and it feels even worse to not know how to go about changing, or whether you even want to. Christ help me.

By Jonathan Lipps

Jonathan worked as a programmer in tech startups for several decades, but is also passionate about all kinds of creative pursuits and academic discussion. Jonathan has master’s degrees in philosophy and linguistics, from Stanford and Oxford respectively, and is working on another in theology. An American-Canadian, he lives in Vancouver, BC and has way too many hobbies.

4 replies on “Losing Love”

It seems like such a simple, basic mistake to make, though, that I always feel so very foolish in making it. I suppose I just need to come to grips with the fact that even I am foolish! I don’t know in how many other states Christ would be able to help me as I’ve asked, anyway.

I get that way sometimes when I’m overly concerned about the thoughts and feelings of this machine that I’m typing upon and leave human beings a little lower on the priority list. As much time as I spend computing, I’m sure you’re there more. Have you considered a weekend or more in a technofast? Maybe this is already a part of your routine.

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