i’m tired and hungry and my contacts suck.
today was a good day, but it was a day that i felt connected to me very loosely; as though if i didn’t put all my energy into not falling off, i would spiral down into nothingness.
what the nothingness is exactly is sort of troubling, but as you would guess, it’s mostly just that–nothing. no good, no bad. smooth, without a wrinkle of life.
in the end, though, i did hang on. a few times my link to reality fuzzed in and out, but i’m still here. i’m still here, waiting for something to happen. eating a pop-tart.
i taught a course on scanning and ocr software today to three middle-aged women. i also slept through one class and 40 minutes of another. i also wrote a song, tentatively entitled ‘grey’. after having writer’s block for so long, it was a clean breath of sea-salty air to be working on a song, not just imagining one. it’s almost done, and i hope to play it on saturday at the show. since i haven’t written much lately, i’ll go ahead and append the lyrics to this entry, as cheesy as that is. i figure as long as it’s mine it’s ok. feel free to comment.
also, if you care, you should vote on which cover i will do on saturday. the choices so far are:
“everything” | lifehouse
“true love waits” | radiohead
“don’t be there” | switchfoot (i don’t know this one yet)
“april 6, 2039” | pedro the lion
or if you have suggestions, feel free. now, the so-called lyrics to my new song:
when i sing it feels better
standing looking out the window
hand out to catch the rain
drip down slow crystal moving
the grey is more than monotone
now that I can pierce it through
i don’t have to see the blue behind it
i know it’s there for me
shadows fade and bleed,
please, deny that they are real
strange how they see me
strange that they run
taking words, stringing them together
i hope i’m making sense
clarity is the goal
drip down the meaning shows
shifting shades lose their opacity
the power to conceal is gone
what is beyond is so incredible
it’s a shame i didn’t see it before
turn on the light that’s in my mind to flood the world with colors
let your eyes see what’s really there stop looking at the canvas
put down your brush dumb ignorance for you don’t have the talent
to represent the way things are with your soul-numbing grey
alpha through epsilon levels: check.
theta through omega levels: clear.
virtual disc on spin: mezzamorphis | delirious?
